My First Mittens

Readers may find it beggars belief, but these same hands knit both of these mittens. Sadly, the perfect mitten was the first 'knitten'. It took me all of twenty-four hours under the watchful eye of my expert Nanny S. in Newfoundland. Clearly, I was able to channel the skill of my Newfoundland Foremothers on this one, not to mention ask my grandmother every step of the way what I should do next. No pattern by the way - just frequent trying-ons.

The second mitten, after returning to the Big Smoke, took over a month of dithering and was completed finally on the inaugural Friday Night Knitting Club just held here. It looks like it was made more for an Alien than human hand. What may not be clear are what look like several pairs of tiny vampire teethmarks, scattered around the second, deeply flawed mitt.

Along with living in infamy on the internet, this pair may be headed straight for a glassed-in frame on the wall where they can be preserved for posterity. For now, I am still a Newfie Princess in training.

Unlikely Injuries

Although I once assumed that cutting myself quite badly on a piece of salsa was the most unlikely injury imaginable, I was mistaken. It turns out I have been the unwitting architect of considerable misery for my friend, Jeannie, who broke a tooth eating my undeniably delicious turkey soup.
Worse, to me, is that she didn't want to tell me. Not to mention the fact that I made the soup while staying at her weekend house, and in some respects, under her supervision. Well, I am heartily sorry, Jeannie, and I hope you got to enjoy some of the soup before it ruined your week. xo Tena

Feels Like I've Finished Principal Photography on Titanic

And I don't mean in that sinking ship way, more in that the biggest part of capturing it all on film is done. Now I'm in the zoomed in stage doing some reshoots, closeups, maybe even a little C.G.I. and definitely some cutting and pasting. The stuff you do once the cast has mostly gone home, and you're pretty much on your own. But I'm happy to be at this stage. Many times it would have been hard to imagine ever arriving here.
I've got this lovely new little red netbook that I can carry on one finger, so I'm instantly more portable and motivated to work on the move. Looking forward to hoisting anchor and picking up some speed on the open ocean. Think good thoughts for me. I'm going to need them as I navigate around.

Moving Onward - writing and life

It's been quite a week - end of holidays is always a little hard to swallow, and the fact that my husband lives in another country, makes the end even more difficult. It's fine when we say goodbye after a regular weekend together, but after three weeks in the same place, goodbye is suddenly infused with regret and longing.

But, I'm happy to report that I'm still actively engaged in living my resolutions. Here's a little update on some:

- I finished my third draft of WIP and printed off all 468 pages of it, for myself and the early readers. Half my toner on the new printer is already gone!
- I'm moving on energetically with the equally important revising/editing stage.
- I'm more consistent with my online updates.
- I have been clutter busting like mad, getting ready for the painter friend who is going to make my bedroom and office more lovely and welcoming and less penitentiary-like in colour.
- I'm breathing more.
- I've been to the library with my brand new library card for a visit that felt a lot like Christmas morning!
- I'm connecting with/calling all my homes more - especially my grandparents - special love to Nanny S. who is about to go into the hospital for surgery on Monday.
- I'm walking, stretching, taking vitamins, and packing my lunch.
- Although I'm not officially buying nothing new, I'm moderately following in my twin's ambitious footsteps and buying very little new, and I'm SAVING!
- I'm taking fewer taxis, using my transit pass.
- I am re-inhabiting my house. It feels more like home again.
- I'm embracing employment and enjoying doing the best I can at what I do.
- I am appreciating my many and varied relationships.
- I'm remembering to be grateful.

Now, to get back to the dentist, relax occasionally, finish knitting that second mitten, and conquer fear! Ha! Yes, these are the tough ones!

I hope you are staying warm and doing whatever you planned for yourself this January.

New Year's Eve and a Self Imposed Deadline

I spent the afternoon with my twin who had a few last minute things to buy before a full year of buying nothing begins tomorrow. It was fun and rushed. I was inspired to get a new library card after a hiatus of 14 years! This is a big change for me. I love buying books - they've become my most frequent indulgence. I will never stop buying books because I want to support authors, just as I hope they're going to support me one day. But, borrowing books on occasion will hopefully enable me to pay down some debt and to participate in library culture. I'm enthusiastic. More enthusiastic than the look of the tiny library I just joined might warrant. But I can order library books online and go to any branch with my new card. I didn't even know how to use the internet the last time I had a library card!

We ended the afternoon with a pint at a nice pub and did some Resolution Focused Freewriting. I know, really I do, that resolutions don't all get kept, but I still think there's some additional power in the writing down of things. Lists, ideas, thoughts, paragraphs, notes. And sharing them is even better. I'll only include a few of the long list of 32. I've already ticked off the library card, now to get on with clearing clutter, taking my vitamins, stretching, writing every day no matter what, saving, and writing regular letters to my three living grandparents.

My self-imposed deadline is to finish the last (actually it's the second last - I'm already done the last) scene of this recent draft of my novel. Oh, did I mention the deadline is tonight? I REALLY want to be done this before the end of the year. Not that there isn't always more to be done, but this part, this part I want to be done, so I can move on to the next stages.

We had planned a big extravagant night out to blast out the end of the decade. (I rang in 1999 at an incredible Barenaked Ladies concert in Buffalo) Instead? My husband and I are hanging out inside our house, alone for the first time in weeks. We are excited about doing almost nothing, watching movies and ordering in sushi, and we'll probably have some champagne. In the background, I'm going to peck away and finish THAT LAST SCENE!
Cheers, and Happy New Year, Everyone.

Contemplative on Christmas day

What a disappointment to realize how long it's been since my last update. Writing more than a twitter update has seemed like an epic challenge. Going back to work full time has been a severe blow to my writing time, but I am rallying. Just not on my blog apparently. One of my favourite people on the planet - my Twin - is starting her first blog, and ironically asking me (as if I were an expert) for advice. I did learn a lot during my year off about social media and the like; perhaps it's time to be using more of it.

My Twin's blog is going to detail her ambitious New Year's resolution of BUYING NOTHING NEW NEXT YEAR! It's not a new idea - we have a friend who did it all this year, and who found the idea from an article. But it is new for my Twin. I contemplated joining her in this resolve for all of two milliseconds. I feel it was an inadvertent fact for me last year, during my year off. I didn't really buy anything new, and that was fine, but I don't want to commit to it just now. What I would like, is to hitch on to some of that motivation of hers to take care of some business of my own. Check out her blog: www.nonewfortara.blogspot.com

Kind of like I joined nanowrimo this year with no intention of beginning a new novel, but rather wrapping up the recent draft of this one, using some of that frenzied nano energy to boost my own when it flagged. I'd like to borrow that mentality a bit more of the time - so when my Twin is fully engaged in reusing, and creating her own stuff, and getting crafty, and sharing, I'm enthusiastic about that. I'm also enthusiastic about being a much lighter consumer and being very selective, and saving more, physically and financially. Taking fewer cabs and more walks, getting some clothes altered instead of buying new ones, creating a better work space at home so I don't have to leave the house to write, clearing clutter - mentally, physically, and financially. It's time to be more spartan, simpler, give more without needing to get something for myself. "Breathing more and doing less," my yoga teacher says. But of course, I always need to do more. Sometimes a lot more. "Hurry up. I want to relax," my husband says. Wish me luck.
I wish you joy, love, and hand knit mittens today.

Re-entering Writing on a Friday Night

How do you re-enter your writing? Something so organic, after a pause? This question was posed to me during the Writer's Retreat at Bard College's Institute for Writing and Thinking. It was the third time I attended, and the instructor this time was Celia Bland. It was an excellent question for someone who has over the years worked in frenzied fits and starts, only to break off for long stretches and then return, ready, but unsure how to reconnect to the writing again.

The answer it seems, is that it's much better to never leave off in the first place. I learned that this past year, when I had all the leisure in the world to write non-stop and yet would sometimes find days had gone by where I had planned and written around, but never written into my piece again.

So, if never stopping isn't an option (though it's always on my goal list to consider for the future) now that I'm back to working full time, I'm finding it best to slip in sideways, where the work is least expecting me. Sometimes questioning precious parts of it in writing, (we called it text explosion at Bard) and sometimes letting it be and getting on with what comes next. I'm even trying some longhand, just to mix things up. That visceral mind to hand to mechanical pencil to page connection made at Bard is hard to keep up with in real life, but sometimes it's just the fit.

Tonight, I'm just glad I managed to write 6 pages on a Friday night, when I haven't written in almost a week, and before that even longer. I'm getting back to me.